Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Lydia & Rene's Short Story

Don’t You Dare Dream It

Well, I woke up one Sunday morning, and looked into the mirror. The first thing I noticed was my usually brown eyes were violet, and my waist length blonde hair was aqua, and short.
I usually wake up feeling plain, but today I felt like doing something crazy … I was flabbergasted … My hair was already crazy, and my eyes were already strange. My personality wanted to match. I wanted to look shocking and unreal, so I put on a fluorescent yellow dress and six inch diamond incrusted stilettos. I wobbled a lot, at first, and fell down the stairs. I ended up with a big bruise on my forehead – but, oh well – it completed the look.
You should’ve seen the LOOK on Jeffery’s face when he saw me. “What the hell have you done to yourself Ria!?” he told me to go and fix myself up, but I didn’t know how.
We began to yell at each other. I told him I never, ever, wanted to see him again. I didn’t mean it, of course, but he took it seriously. Tears ran down his face as he ran off. “You’ll be sorry you said that, Ria” he yells over his shoulder.
I turned up on Camilla’s doorstep. I don’t know how… but I did anyway. Camilla opened the door. Her jaw dropped and she stared at me as if she’d never seen me before. ”What?” I said. “well, what’ve you done to yourself, Ria?” Oh. Right. About that… “Nothing. I woke up like this.” She looks at me for a moment – “the shoes? The dress?”
Camilla screamed! I laugh. Tears run down my cheeks… until – Jeffery turned up with a gun. Oh. That’s why Camilla screamed. I wasn’t very happy about that. So I decided so run up to him and him a lovely lip smacker. Yeah, sweetie, don’t try that. He just pulled the trigger.

WOKE UP
My eyelids jutter open. Thank god. It was just a dream. I hop up and look into the mirror to reassure myself. The first thing I noticed was my usually brown eyes were violet, and my waist length blonde hair was aqua, and short. OH GOD.


By Lydia and Rene. 

2 comments:

  1. Your idea's are relevant but not original. We like how you kept the same idea going through the whole story.
    We like your use of complex vocabulary such as 'flabbergasted'. However you could have added some complex phrases as apposed to just complex words.
    You have used lots of correct punctuation which has made your story even more interesting.
    Great story!
    From Milla & Brina

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks MIlla and Brina.....some great feedback and feedforward on Lydia and Rene's written work. Mrs S!

    ReplyDelete

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