COWMAGEDON!
By Sam Clark & Ashley Mills
Our
top story tonight! Scientists have created a robotic cow that supposedly has a
mind of its own. It went berserk and has broken free of the laboratory
apparently seeking a girlfriend. The female cow has been wandering the streets
and the robo cow follows it, and stops at nothing to meet the female! This has
been our top story on 13 news, on Friday the 13th.
Rufus
flew through the sky, he was still chasing that beautiful chick (cow).
Suddenly, right when he thought he would catch up to her, he looked down… to
see that the army had set up barricades and were aiming their weapons straight
at him. “damn it” thought Rufus. But thankfully, he had steel plated armour,
and of course, a very handy disintegrator ray. ZAP! The entire army was
disintegrated into a pile of dust. Rufus thought he was unstoppable, (not to
mention handsome), but what he didn’t notice was a fleet of fighter jets headed
his way. “Time to pull out the big guns!” thought Rufus.
Inside
one of the jets, the pilot says through his walkie talkie: everyone quiet-
what’s that noise? M-m-m-m-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi- MOOMOOMILK! WHAT THE- begins
the pilot.
A
jet of twisted light slices through the thick blanket of cloud , the green beam
entwined with purple, blue, and red nears the jet & makes contact. The jet
is ripped to shreds like a piece of paper, and the other pilots retreated,
their aircraft soaked in milk.
Suddenly
Rufus thinks: WAIT! I can’t just walk up to a lady looking like I’ve been in an
aerial dogfight! I need to look classy! Suddenly he spots a guy in boss hog
shades walking down the footpath. Rufus knew what he had to do. He took aim
with his laser, and fired. Rufus flew down do the smoking pile of ashes and
plucked the glasses from the top. He put them on his face and thought- I’m irresistible.
So with that, he flies over to the female. He smiled at her, she on the other
hand, looks utterly horrified.
Suddenly,
a tatty looking farmer wearing patched up clothes and a battered straw hat, ran
at him, his thin bony face red as a tomato fresh from his crop. Swinging a
chainsaw wildly above his head, he shouts: you get awa’ from me lil’ daisy ye’
varmint! CHAINSAW!
Rufus’s
instincts took over. He cries (in cow language): “I summon the power of cows
‘n’ cows ‘n’ cows!”
Suddenly,
millions upon millions of cows start falling from the sky. They all hit the
ground and start turning into: spider cows, giant hybrid robot cows, bouncing
cows, and exploding cows! Cows in u.f.os start appearing out of nowhere, and
nyan cows crash into the ground, causing massive explosions, and trailing
rainbows. Tornadoes start forming and spewing milk & baby cows everywhere,
and massive earthquakes occur, with giant cows coming out of them, and giant
cracks open in the ground, filled with lava and milk, and spewing yet more cows
everywhere! “stop! The universe will be ripped apart if you don’t stop!” cries
the farmer.
I
don’ care! Shouts Rufus in a strangely comical Scottish accent.
Suddenly
as you probably have guessed by about now, the universe EXPLODES!
“Well.”
Thought Rufus. “ there might be cows on Uranus!” as he flew off into the
blackness.
Your ideas are very complex ideas, but they could make the plot line a bit more serious. In your story you use a range of difficult words effectively, but you might want to work on using the difficult words more often. Your punctuation wasn't as great as we expected it to be, and you could have used your speech marks more.
ReplyDeleteBy Kris and Jack
I enjoyed reading your feedback Kris and Jack on Sam and Ashley's story. I was just wondering what punctuation you were wanting them to put in (as well as the speech marks).
ReplyDelete